CoMe Back Time.....

WOW...it been a wile since i blog...

Graduation is neaR...got the Letter froM UNI..yeAaahhh...

Frenssss, let us Shake DU doWn for our DEgrEe ScRoLl...hahahaha

Im nw WorKing at INSTACOM ENGINEERING/CONSTRUCTION S/B...as

JUNIOR SUPERVISOR...hahahaha...

eMplOyed nw...making me not planting any grapes for the moment..

as job hunting is still on..yeahhhh..hahaha...

LapPy whole day long....updating whole day long...tones of OTsssss..

gaining experience & facing the cruel brand new reality world for me....

hahaha...

told myself b4...its aint easY...

nid to be strong...

GB enrolment is coming up....

next SUnday 19/07/09 to be exactttt....

hahaha....

Its been a wile...since last goodbye to UNIMAS temporarily....but..

im coming back reall soonnnn..hahaha...

missing those LepaKing tiMe back in College...

skip Classes MoMent...texting frens...go class?lazy la...don wan la..hehehe

bertAubat la..but..end up..ok la...next week we go class..hahaha...

Makan Makan time..the best time of all..hehee

assgnmnts ZOmbIeeesss....

arguEments....

beh song here n there...

hahhahaha..those were the daysssss...

Miss UnI LIFE

n YESHhhh I AM!!!!!!!!

Came thru My MiNd...

This jz came thru my mind..i duno y but it jz came thru my mind...reminds me back of my Girls' Brigade's training camps..and also company camps and also Bible study...

Flashing back to one of the talk i attend..No Apologies..

its a talk for pre-maritual marriage sex and adultery and many more..n its all incorporated to SIN...BIG SIN..

once it was organized in a very large quantity...

this shouldnt be for jz students of secondary school..

but its well recommended for higher learning level students too..

this is the time where people tend to have freedom to the fullest

away, fafr away from parents..no more NO here n there...

FREEDOM is what u get..

love urself n love urself more

don live ur life wid regrets...

i had saw many tings happen

the good n the bad

the sweet and the bitter

the happy and the sad

the love and the HURT

but i knw its does not end here yt...

its not a full stop yt..

lots more for me to c for me to know for me to experience..

one ting i keep i mind..

IF i Don LOVE myself...

Appreciate myself..

Treasure myself..

Cherish myself..

Care for myself..

one ting that is gona happen is I AM HURTING MYSELF..

No One will HURT u 1st If u DON HURT URSELF 1st..

i ChoOSe to LOVE MYSELF B4 others LOVE ME..n to DESERVE to be LovE by Me...

[~FINALLY~]

Finally Finally Finally

what can i say but Finally...

Gudnes that i waited for so long for this to happen...

all nw jz waiting to get FINAL exam done..

hehehe....

but this...it satisfies me to the fullest although Final Exam is not over yt..hehehe..

let the PICTURES do the TALKING...

ITS DONE FINALLY!!!!!!

What is Done...Is DONE...

i do not knw what do i feel n why i feel lik this..flashingback...keep on flashing back..

what can be done its done..

what can i do, i did it...

what can i save i saved...

what can i share, i shared...

what can i give i've given...

what i can become i became...

what to please, i pleased...

to let go i given up...

to forget i forgotten...

to mend it over i tried...

this the time where i just cnnt stop my mind from tinking all over again..

wish that there could be a button to delete the unwanted tings

what had happen...

i gona cherish it til the end of my life

what i did wrong n what i hav being ignorant

what i hav forgotten

what i hav did wrong in hurting anyone at anytime

to anyones...

Im truly sorry...

Sorry for all the things i had done..

dear darlings frens besties sisters brothers u are the best

loving u all give me no full stop at anywhere

~im SORRY~

i duno what to say but im SORRY..yeash i am..i feel extremely bad..but i jz duno hw to put it in words..im so so soorrryyy..i knw its too late for everything...ntg i can do but saying im sorry..i even don hav the guts to say im sorry to u..i feel extremlely guilty for that....i never knw that that person is so extremely shit...worst than a shit i cud say..gudness......
this feeling sux..i am guilty..me wrong..very wrong...

i'm so SORRY...

ntg i can do to mend it over.it was done n it was a past...but this cut this feeling will stay in me till i did hav the guts to actually face u and say i am sorry...once and for al..im sorry...

IM SORRY..very much sorrryyyyy....

exam sux..with this sux feeling...im in guilt..

im being very harsh...very bad....very hot tempered...very much negative side of me..

im sorry..

SO soOoo sOrrY....

Sem 2 (2008/2009) is coming to an END....[Exam ExAm exAm...]

Exam exam exam exam..im so tired..but this will be the last final exam that im goin thru...except in future i plan to take Masters again la..hehe..but thatz in my plan definately...praying hard that one day i would be able to continue...

Another piece of paper plays a big role in society...having a roll of degree nw its lik ntg...

everywhere, just throw a stone..u gona hit a degree holder...

competition is jz to great...im graduating at the wrong time...where economy its lik hell..no much improvement but a great slum down...

to continue on masters nw right after my degree, nope im so nt doin that bt YES in future..i am goin to take up Master...

missing people a lot lately...i duno y..

this semester is coming to an end...

i miss my frens...i miss the ones who are dear to me by my side

hehehe..

darlings, dears...frens...

ALL THE BEST...Love U all...Huggies...

i am in LOVE...

YES, i am in LOVE , n i am n i am in LOVE

very much in LOVE with u...

i LOVE u more day after day...u filled my life..with smile n laughter...

aft this im so very much in LOVE with u..

ur my LOVE..

To Everyone who duno..

the one n only one i LoVe is mY LILLO...my Dearest LILLO....

LILLO is My LOVE...

jz love her so much....mwakssss..

this mOviE...

i jz broke down into tears watching this movie...

*thumbs up* for Marley n Me...

braces..orthodontic...dental appointments...

after a year using a retainer..or what ever its called...nw if gone...im on with a fix appliance..gudnes..the one that no way for me to take off anymore...oh gudnes...

im feeling the pressure nw..my 2rabbit tooth infront is on pressure n it hurt a bit..feel more lik having a sore thn hurt...

OMG...but my upper lips..its getting very very uncomfortable liao..sH**...

today, get one paper done..Marketing Communication...byebye to u..

another 4more to go...yeah yeah yeah.but doom doom doom...hehehehe

tired tired wana go get rest liao..hav my slepy eyes n painful lip...oh gudnes...suffering hw i wish i cud jz take it off for a min or two...to rest my lip....

gona get some medication tomoro b4 this so called ulcers getting worstttt....haizzzzzzzzz

~Looking 4 a [*StaR*]~

i jz watched this movie..its one really nice movie...a movie that i flashed back loaddsss of stuff...it touched my heart...flashing back to the memories i once had..but nw..its gone..gone till i am nt sure whether can i hav it back..but i do hav a feeling telling me that...i shud jz let it go..i thought i did, but deep inside, i still keep a space for a hope..a hope that might not be here anytime soon or anytime..u might having urself to live ur life to the fullest, i wish i cud also...but deep inside there's a cut, a cut that hav been bandaged but...its still bleeding and thought that it was never been a cut before.

sometimes life is cruel. really cruel thatit does not even giv u a time to at least prepare urself for it. im so not prepared...my mouth said many times, im prepared for the worst to come..prepared for everyting that are goin to happen..prepared to what eva that comes around..being open to accept what eva happened. but deep inside, i wish it cud last longer or even forever, but it fated that there is a cut in me. the cut that leave the strongest effect,. an infection that cost me a scar that this cut will be healed by time.

by time it wil be healed but when isit no ones knows..

im looking for a star that i cuz jz leave the cut there..heal it...leaving it nt bleeding anymore and anywhere else..although bandaged.

Looking for a [*star*], a star that i cud jz throw the pain away..a star does not mean a person a star might be the strength for me to leave it behind n stop the bleeding...

*~MEMORIES~* **PaRt On3**

Wow...3 years had past...3years..full of memories...

3 years n Unimas...*Graduating soon*--->((crossed fingers))

time flies...feel it was so yesterday...

UNIMAS GEMILANG

yesh, i still remember the day i step in UNIMAS...was blUr...very bLur...but msged, call, and meet frens

frens which i know from sch..lucky me...

1st step in KoLej Bunga Raya...Hostel reg..okies..kena tegur.."adik nanti pergi tukar pakaian formal eh"

cuz i was in Jeans n SHirt...hahaha...i pergi la tukar my baju aft gt my keys n so on...

Wow..i gt a room right at the end of the hostel..but i do hav a nice green scenery..really nice from my apartment's living room...hw relaxing..that the place wer i watch sunrise wen ever i rush to finis my asgnmnt...

NiCe????dis was taken very early in the morning.....

oh man...time really flies....3rd year final sem dy....gt into my apartment....yeah..clean up clean up..mos important ting....new hostel..wid all the dirts..ewwww....but thanks to my parent n my siblings who was there to help me though..hehehe....after that...its time to register as a student..wer???BHEP of cuz...can c the line was like..WOW....*no Pics*...sad...biasa that time belum lagi sakit blogging ba...hahaha..

people are all around...met frens...but from kolej..who i met 1st...Yumei..hahaha...same building but she staying 2 level above mine la...nvm...Good exercise kan???hahaha...

time fliess.........

done wid registering a week of Minggu Aluan Pelajar...

a week of torture...but it was fun..one n the most important ting that i remember is the night where we were woke up by the seniors for FIRE DRILL...n it was lik "fire drill" but its not...jz an hour plus of ...*u kNw i knw..something illegal but to hav it they change the name to Fire Drill....which u kena berus teruk teruk..* n conclusion i got from that so called Fire Drill is....every kolej is the Worst Kolej..apakah..

but hor...that time..i was having a bad tummy pain...cuz of the food i took..wow...the feeling was so nice..hahaha......that is the ting that i will never forget..hahaha..

Honestly,...that week memang home sick....OMG....ngaku..hahaha...*shy shy*thn start la lectures...registration n so on..

asgnmnt coming....lectures....mid term exams...final exam..done...the end of 1st sem....then come 2nd sem..same old ting..but no MAP again...but lectures...asgnmnts...hangouts...exams....dis n that....the ting paling i don lik is faculty course registration...i was once at the door of the computer lab...yeash...im stick on the wall lik hw spiderman climb up the wall..haha...cnnt move at all....everyone was lik..erm.haiz..but it was fun...at least something to recall back..hahaha..

end of 1st year....fast yeah??? n joined Minggu Aluan Pelajar as a Liaison Officer (MAP 07/08)...

this was the most memorable, cherishable, meaningful lovely days of my life as UNIMAS STUDENT....It was FUN though lack of slep, tired, stress, but i was full of laughter n warmth of all of us in SWEETNESS of FRENSHIP.....

Mua Dar dar, suling, yumei, ah ui, lulu, My Roommate my Lion King...vincent, ee kiong, huang yew-king kong, john, wei jan, trinstan, chua, ang wei kian-weekend....and many more...YEAH...

*pIcturesssssss......back in UNI....UPLOAD soon...* huhuuhu...

thats all for nw...got to go back to mua FWP@ Final Week Project.....

n3w fr3n

i came back home on friday...cuz im just too stress...cnnt stand it nemo..decided to skip class n back right after i hand in Music asgnmnt....i duno hw m i gona bear with the stress if im still at uni...

dis time stress level zoom up to the level that i couldnt hold it nemo...

back home...i gt a new fren...another family member...

her name is *LILLO*...

she's a German Sheperd mix Labrado...

she Extremely CUTE...

she's only 14 days old today....

Here PresentIng

*LILLO*

isnt she Cute

this is how LiLLo slep....

This is my babY *Lillo*

Stress

Everyone is stress...coming out with word that so called out of our mind....i miss home i miss life that without ant rushing here nt here...i miss all...i miss my old times frens...my frens who i share my ups n downs with..........frens....u know who u are...don over stress...take good care...if there anyting do owes remember..to pray...to hav a minute of silence..calm down....n continue on with ur work...but the mst important ting is to take good care of yr health...life aint easy...sometime i feel lik jz let go..but on thing i kept in mine...im here to educate myself...here i am for a bete future for myself and for my family my parents....

Before anyting happen......Frens im sorry....for all the things i had done that HURT ya physically mentally and emotionally....im sincerely very sorry....what i had done before.but u guys are still my bestest frens and sister in life....especially goes to dar dar, suling, yumei, stella, p.x, h.f., and all my frens........although there are time that seems lik i forgotten u ppl..but deep inside my heart u're there,......i never ever forget u guys..... love for u all my frens never end....cuz frens are forever

~i'M feeling Terrible~

i duno what shud i feel..i feel very sien...feeling quite sensitive lately...duno la...sien la...wen everyting is near to the due date everyone selfishess is showing and coming out....haiz.....sometime others feeling to care...but mayb im just too sensitive....just don think too much..haiz...sien la..bete i do my own ting n enjoy myself do what ever i can do....improve what ever i can improve and be the best among the best i can.......so well, come ANGEL...let stand up and strive and strike wat u aimed for n wished for....

anyone know the feeling of being pressured??????

anyone know the feeling being pressured....my shoulder feeling so heavy....feeling of 46peoples marks is on my shoulder..which i am bearing it now with few of my coursemate...this feeling really s***!!!!!!!!! can u imagine what will be happening if u failed to provide those members the marks which is nearest to 20?????????possibility to get 20marks is there but the possibility to loose mark is also there as this ting i got no confidence at all cuz there's till (????) all around...but since all the combined group leaders said its lik dat...what can we say...although there are still (????) in our heads......

i dun know y n how shall i react.....i wana to deliver the best in presenting my points and convincing my lecturer in marking us to the best??????? i still cannot feel the interaction although there was improvement during rehearsal jz now...but interaction from the WHOLE group is the main thing that is needed.......i heard from people on....do u think that lecturer will giv us marks only on few directors mumbling n few shareholders mumbling?????and few questions that r goin to be asked?????lik dat?????????? it is not easy lo....or mayb im just thinking too much...m i???someone please tell me....here is the place to score for dis particular subject....

not the rehearsal.......not the points.....there's just something that is so not right.....duno y do i hav this feeling but this feeling is here n my sixth sense owes give me quite accurate real ting might hapen.....

im very stress im afraid that i will loose my patient anytime from now....do pray hard ya.......

I'm tired

im so so tired...im so not happy...im so depressed...im tired of everyting happening to me lately...got no 1 to talked too..somethimes i do miss having some1 by my side to share everyting to..but nw the special some1 is so long not here by my side anymore....sometime i just nid a shoulder to lean on...but what can i do since there's no hope for it anymore although how much i wan it to be...
life aint easy for sure..n im so sure n definate abt it now...i jz nid a break..i nid to hav a break of peacfulness with my head nt worrying anyting. i miss times that i can actually jumping n running...
im speechless....im tired...i duno what n hw should i react anymore...so so tired dy...sometimes i feel lik giving up but not at this very last moment.......haiz.....

anyway...praying for betterness and hapiness of life ahead n God will guide me n help n strengthen me through everyting....

hOmeEeeeeeeeeeee

Yeah......Im HomE...Finalyy......

huraAyyyy.......my home sweet home...my nice comfy bed.......

the smell of my home....everyone is home....

HOME.............

life aint easy...i MEAN it....

what can i say...life really NOT EASY...giving up...leaving it behind...forgetting it...let it go...it could be easy for someone else.but for me its aint easy....flashingback i did...letting go i tried...ignore what eva i felt..i did...d feeling is till there....not goin away so far...i wanted to c u..but i just cnnt look at u right in ur eyes....i just feel lik falling in ur arms again...wish to be in ur arms again lik i used to...but its all OVER...NO MORE....i miss u i till miss u....i just wan u back but there ntg i can do to hav u back..letting u go..letting dis feeling go...mayb its just one way out....

wen ur nt around..ur nt back to ur hometown...im owes here but thn wen ur back..im lik a burden...im lik some1 monitoring u...it hurts me hell wen u first say it to me...but thn wat can i do but to accept it as it is hard...sometimes i feel lik im just an entertainment to u...something for u to entertain ur own wen ur bored..wen im nt anymore wanted...off u go...out of my way..ur monitoring...

but u told me once im the only one u care d only gurl u care...u nvr care for any gurl lik hw u care for me...u make me smile u make me feel lik im in the world of my own...once u wana end it i feel the world crashed down on me...it hurt...its killng me...it crushed me more thn crushed ice...ice melt....but my pain is till there.. am being really hard for this past few months....looking back flashing back...ur d 1 i love the most....u hurt me...i don hate u...u end it...i never wana say goodbye...but s i keep tinking it hurt me lots...

all i can say is i till keep this hope...dis one n only hope...but i hope that it would fades away s time passes.....swwet memories between us...i will definately cherish it till the end of my life....cuz my love to u is sincere n i till heart u...Huggss...wish to be in ur arms again but that will be in the memories

byebye...good bye....